I was debating on whether or not to write this blog post. You see I was struggling with the issue of again letting the world know more of my “business”…lol Especially really personal feelings. Although it may not seem like it at the moment, I am a pretty private person. But after watching a trailer for a new documentary titled “Tall Girls – The Story of Giants” I felt I had no choice but to write this post. While watching the trailer I could personally relate with some of the girls stories. Yes when I am out in public, I get stared at a lot and I do mean a lot. I get it that most people don’t see a 6’4″ person, let alone a woman of that height everyday. So people have a tendency to look and then look twice to make sure their eyes are really seeing what they think they are seeing. In order for me not to be driven mad, or have a complex and become a hermit, I to had to learn to block out the stares, glares and double takes.
When I was in elementary school I was literally having growing pains and my pediatrician referred me to an endocrinologist. My mother was asked if she would like to put me on something to help stunt or slow down my growth. Thankfully for me my mother said no! If I had the choice as a teenager though, back then I probably would have said yes. I was always the tallest of all my classmates from elementary school and up, except for maybe one or two boys. I was tall, extremely shy, clumsy (from my mother’s account…lol), lanky and I had no particular “sense of style” (although I thought I did)…lol You see when I was in school it was hard to find junior size jeans that were long enough for my ever growing legs. I had braces on my teeth for a period of time and if I recall I also had a jheri curl for some time..lol Don’t get me wrong though, my school age years were some of the best years of my life. You see although I was super tall, I wasn’t made fun of in elementary school, middle school or high school. I had lots of friends and I was social in school, pretty much everyone knew who I was even if it wasn’t by name. All you had to say was the really tall girl…lol. While my sister and cousin enjoyed going to concerts, the mall and meeting boys, I preferred staying home in my room. I would read a lot of books and I was always taking my grandmother’s Town and Country magazines, imagining the life I wanted to live. I was always doing different artsy crafty type things with paper. I even used to make fake fingernails out of paper and tape and I would polish them and then glue them on my fingernails…lol Geeky yes I know..lol But I enjoyed all of this. I was content in my sheltered and comfortable walls.
I know we all have our awkward stages and moments. For some it may be only a year or two for others it may be a longer period of time. But for tall girls especially, I think it is a bit harder. It is harder because we can’t play shrinking violet. We don’t blend into the crowd. No matter what, we always stand out and are noticed. Again harder for the simple fact that although you may look just as awkward as your friends, with the wrong hairstyle, braces or clothes, you have to deal with being taller than everybody else, including most, if not all of the boys. So your friends who may be going through their awkward phase at the same time as you, may still have the date to the school dance, but you don’t because you’re taller than all of the boys. Its a sad story yes I know but I only write about it because it does have a happy ending. I want young tall girls who might happen across this post to know that they are not alone and that their day at the dance (with a date) is coming if it hasn’t already happened. In high school I never dated and never got asked to a school dance. I even went to my senior prom without a date. Yes I felt bad, I hated being so tall at that time, because of it.
But when I went to college, well my second year at CSU Long Beach something happened. I started to blossom for lack of a better word. I started doing my hair, wearing make-up and dressing a whole lot better. I grew into my height. I was no longer awkward and clumsy, I was graceful and elegant. My confidence and self esteem started to soar. With that came the attention from the boys. While in my second year of college one of my friends was looking through some of my yearbooks and she said, “you’re the ugly duckling”. I was like what (feelings all hurt) until she explained that looking at the pictures I looked a bit rough, not ugly, just plain, but boy was I pretty now. I got it, kinda sorta, I didn’t think I looked that bad in high school..lol But I understood what she was trying to say. I had finally come into my own and turned into the swan I was meant to be. When I turned 21 and started going to night clubs I was the girl who quickly got asked to dance. The one who the club owners and bouncers would remember and recognize. The one who the DJ would dedicate a song to. Why? What changed? I was still the same height. My features were still the same. I believe it was my confidence and self-esteem. What I learned is that if you feel like you are pretty, unique or even beautiful, chances are someone else will too. But just the same if you feel like you are weird, ugly or a freak of nature, believe me someone else will also.
I probably could go on writing forever but I will try and conclude it here. I am 6’4″ tall. This is extremely tall for a woman. I have been called a giraffe to my face only once in my 36 years of life. (I’ll tell you all that story another time..lol) But I have been called a supermodel, a hot model, America’s next top model, a model, pretty, stunning, beautiful, lovely, statuesque, Barbie, a princess, gorgeous, and a gazelle all on more than one occasion. If you’re a young tall girl just hang in there. I promise you, your date or I should say dates to the dances will come. You have to believe that you are beautiful and embrace your God given uniqueness. You just might be the next Tyra Banks, Elle McPherson, Gabrielle Reece, Lisa Leslie, Giselle, Maria Sharapova, Venus Williams or the ever so fabulous Kimora Lee. All stunning, gorgeous and fabulously tall swans, that who I’m sure have all had their ugly duckling stories. Or even better the beautiful, stunning, fabulous and confidently tall “you” that you were meant to be!
Thank you so much for reading!